I think recently I have been slowly emotionally decaying. I really don't have that much to be crying about. My family are doing well and there heath is fine. I have no problems with anyone nor wise versa. My finances are in better state. However truth is I spend a enormous amount of time alone, and appart of it was really by choice. It's what I felt I wanted. But deep down, I know now more than ever what I really want is that one person. I want that one person I can love and without doubts know loves me. I want to spend time with someone I care about. I miss being in love, and I miss it all together. My last relationship really took the whole feeling past what I saw and could envision from TV and movies. I had a taste and I guess you could say I know I want nothing more.

Life alone is just completely unpallatable to me. Maybe it's the holidays who knows. I know you aren't supposed to tell people your holiday wishes since that can jinx it, but if it happens despite my jinxing it, I know it's a gift. My christmas wish is to have someone I love more than life itself and spending it with them.

God I feel so sappy. See that's what I get for watching Christmas themed movies alone. You should see both of them, they are both just light holiday cheer.