I have had to really scale back with my recent financial crunch, to only the comics I really like or have to read. I decided I will slowly stop reading a few titles as soon as the story arcs conclude. There is nothing worse than stopping in the middle or near end of a series story arc. Of course when i leave for Basic I will have to go cold turkey.

It's really become an addiction... comics, well better to be addicted to a childhood pasttime than drugs I suppose.

I have gone as far as to plan around all that, once the time comes, I will only be delayed in my reading but I will still read it all. I sense so much strength in my wanting to escape into these worlds. I have been really thinking seriously and I think that given the far fetched and unlikely chance to ever live in this world, I might betray anything. Scary to think of it that way. But it would never happen anyways, just a story line going through my mind I guess. It'd be weird finding myself to be removed from life and to be put into fiction.

I think it connects with my want to change things and in fiction, you have the power.

I am a child with an adults understanding of what life is.

I went to the beach and ran a mile. I made some horrible time. I definetly have to step up the training. I'm in awful shape. I went swimming afterwards.

I love stories so much, that sometimes I want to live in them. My life sometimes feels like a story and i fall in love with the drama and even pain that comes with it. It makes me somewhat ashamed to admit it but I know somewhere in me I have come to thrive on this darkside of my nature.

It's why I never gave up on life or let life defeat me. It does protect me, but sometimes perhaps it's for the wrong reasons.

I have so much more free time as of late since I am on vacation right now. I took it, because I needed to. Work was draining my life force and will away. As I have gotten away I actually sense some of my creativity and passions resurfacing. It's been for awhile. I don't miss Viva anymore. I really consider that my past and I don't look back. I just want to absorb it all in...life that is.