On the side I've been cleaning houses to make money. I used to do this a lot more but with recent struggles and with a day off I worked my tail off. I got paid $300.00 for 9 hours of work. It was exhausting but it was nice having that money in my hand. The place I was cleaning sort of looked like the house in the REM "It's the End of the World" Music Video. It made me want to take my shirt of and go skateboarding in it. I have litterally been living this past week pinching pennies and scrounging coins so that I could maybe treat myself to any items of Burger kings 99 cents menu.
While I was cleaning I kept pretending I was one of the Fab 5 from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and I kept making these outlandishly funny comments about the place I was cleaning. It was quite fun... even though I was by myself. I guess perhaps you had to be there.
An Ex-girlfriend came over just now. She stopped by and we talked. We went out maybe...gee I guess I'd have to say three years ago. She's visiting... and no nothing happened. She called me while I was watching SNL/MAD TV and since I haven't seen her in a long time and she was in the area I invited her over. She goes to school up in Boston. It's weird... I really have become reclusive. I really didn't realize it at first because I talk to a lot of people, but that is when I am out and about at work, but on my own time I spend so much time alone, by myself. I do a lot of things alone and I really have stopped seeking people out to hang out with.
Things have changed so much in my life. Things are very much not the same with Chestine and I. I feel like we are so different from the people we used to be. I don't know why, but I was thinking that I was really happy that our relationship was never really that serious, because she really was not the type of person that be a good match. She started off by pointing out that I look bigger. I don't know why that always bothers me, but I really hate that. I also realized talking to her that I am a really sensitive person, I mean I don't take comments about myself very well and they really stick in my head afterwards.
Don't get me wrong it was nice seeing her again but I really feel so far gone from that life. I really have stopped trying to be the life of the party, or that goofy guy that would make everyone laugh with my antics. Ianstead I seem to reserve them for myself and my own amusement.... cause hey, if you can't amuse yourself then who can you amuse.
Well I am not sure if my computer is cured. I put everything back on and I got another Virus, can you believe it? Well this time I had my Virus scan in place and uncomprimised. The problem is it keeps dissefecting this virus which seem to keep popping up. The funny thing is I even tried online and independant ones that don't detect any Virus now so I don't know where it's popping up from. Maybe this Virus scan I'm trialing has some bugs in it cause my computer runs fine and this Virus I have from what I looked up is supposed to do a lot of stuff which it's not doing so..hmm?
Well I will write about the past week later. I will end on this note... I wish I wasn't such a loner and live such a loner lifestyle. I sort of wish I could feel less of some things and not always know that I'm missing out on something. Wait, bad note to end on, since it's such a downer. Ok...hmm? I got it, " I love Carson" not Daly, please, but Carson from the Fab 5.