I was thinking and I realized I spent so much time in my head because I was an only child who spent most of my life playing with myself (not like that you sickos =) ) No I played a lot with my toys and thought many thoughts alone. I was pretty self sufficient when it came to entertaining myself.

Truth is my life hasn't changed much. I spend so much time in my head that I often live in my head... sort of like that short lived 80's series "Herman's Head"

Well the whole Viva thing is going nowhere to no surprise. It really is time to let go of that one, even if we go well together. I really did everything in my power and there is nothing more I could do.

I need a job!!! That really has me worried. I need a future career.

Why have I spent so much time going the long way towards nowhere?

The whole army thing might not pan out. Is it really me? I am hesistant to take that path but my want to finish school is strong. With no money and doing it alone, it sort of is one of my only options to go back and help pay my current loans.

My other path is asking my dad to teach me his career path. I've been thinking perhaps asking my father to help guide me into Real Estate. THough it is never a good time to go into the biz, he's been doing it most his life and has made a darn good living at it. Perhaps my dad could advise me and teach me and advise me, but at the same time, it's my dad and I can only take so much of him. The thing with him is that he is nice and understanding some day and tries but the impatient and uncomunicative father always rears his head around.

I have so much on my mind, I want to run away from my own life.