My father is there for me to kick me in the ass and gives me something I need. I have been offering my time to help my father out on project and try to restablish some sort of relationship my family. This wasn't my intent but my father has really helped me see things in a better light. My father suffered the same problems as I do on so much of a larger scale and he shared what happened to him and how he got out of it.

I have always loved my dad but of late I never got out of him what I needed. I always wanted him to open up to me and tell me his story or tell me something. He began to speak and immediately I started to feel better and not so bad. I stopped feeling so defeated and alone. My father did that.

My father told me about his first two failed marriages. I'll go more into detail over what he told me later. For now I felt like exclaiming my love and appreciation for my father.

The life of my mother was cut short and I grew up without one, but my father did a hell of a job and part of me realizes I can never give him what he gave me. I realized I learned to love and give to others from him. It's stupid to loose sight of those things in your life, but sometimes out of the bad comes a good reminder.

I have to go, but I have all this feeling right now, and I feel so much possibility again. I needed to share that.