I have really accepted the fact that things simply must be hard because I am such a sentimental fool.

Ok...basically I feel the same in regards to... well if you don't know what I have been obsessing about for these past weeks well yeah.

Something different though. Since my life has somewhat reverted to what it was before my life upheaval, I had dinner with the folks. I sort of mentioned what had happened. I spent this evening driving a far distance (by hawaii standards) to run an errand with my father.

This drive was filled with many uneasy silences. Too many to count really. But we got to speaking. It's funny, I always look forward to these father son moments because you know, it could be one of those moments where you sit with your parents and say profound things to one another or things you have never been able to say. You know, like, when you watch some corney movie and the dad has all this wisdom to bestow on his child.

Well, it just doesn't ever seem to turn out to be one of them, or if it is, it very subtlely resembles one of those moments. My father doesn't say much so when I come up with something to say it is followed by a long silence and then an eventual statement which normally has no response.

For the most part we talked about my future. My father feels that perhaps the fact that I don't have a future laid out somewhat had something to do with the failure in my relationship. He was trying to explain to me the finer points of providing security for a woman. I don't know, I tend to think of that as a outdated way of thinking however I don't doubt the it's validity. Because face it, there are girls or boys, or people that care about money and feeling comfortable. I have always been in the group which has as long as you have each other. But that's just me.