We were in the movie theatre and part of the movie headed to an intermission which is when things really got weird. There was this over grandious take down scene that took place because the guy snuck into the theatre.

Emotionally I don't think I am ready to let go. I think I need more time. I got myself to stop calling and she stopped calling me, well at least for 2 days. Well it's a start.

A coworker of mine went skydiving. I am so jealous. I'd love to jump out of a plane right now without the parachute and just free fall into the ocean. I know it's an ellaborate, albeit dramatic suicide fantasy buck It's what I'd want my death to be. I shouldn't be wishing this because in 2 weeks I will be going on a plane with my parents and I don't want to make my wish come true at the one moment that it would hurt others and those I love.

This talk is just that and no reason for concern. It's just this fatalist feeling that seems to fall on me when I'm down.

I don't know if I am normal to let the things in my life linger so much, I don't know if I am normal to let things affect me so much. I don't know if I am normal.

My throat is still in major mother fucking pain. No flu, but it hurts so much when I eat or drink anything. There is hardly any fleem and I have been trying everything. I have to work today but I am thinking I should see a Doc 2morrow.