So what happened, She told me that her feelings never really changed. I asked her what is wrong then? She told me... she felt too comfortable with me and that is why she can't be with me.. She doesn't trust herself with me because things seem to perfect. Also she does have feelings for this other guy but she doesn't know where it's coming from. She also told me she's scared. So that's it.

I have had feeling that she did still have feelings for me and I know and have talked about her habit of pushing away things that make her happy.

So what does this all mean? Well it doesn't change that we still aren't together. It doesn't bring the closure I was hoping for.

It does help me, and doesn't give me reason to mope or feel sorry about myself. There is nothing I could do to prevent the loss of this love.

One thing that happened afterwards that I greatly regret is that we kissed before I left. She pulled me to her and we kissed. It was another perfect kiss. It seems like all our kisses are perfect and full of meaning. Some people never have that movie moment where you lean down to kiss someone and both are left just standing and hanging over one another taking in the whole kiss and the moments after. It was supposed to be a goodbye kiss.

There is nothing for me to do, and there is nothing wrong with me. So I can't get down on myself for messing up. This is her problem, something I hope she overcomes, if not with me, then with the next guy that comes around.

Well enough on that for now. I noticed last night that my next entry will be my 300th Entry. I am all for celebrating milestones. Sure there are tons of people with more entries but I never thought I'd make it to 300. Who knows if I will get to 400 or even 500.

I've got a sore throat right now. Well I have to work later tonight but right now I am going to whip myself some breakfast and then head down and go buy me some comics.