Viva finally called me. She told me she just got my messages. She told me that her battery died.

I don't know whether I believe her or not. But Seeing how she possibly wasn't getting my calls, I feel I said more than I should have in my letter. I essentially ended our friendship and she hasn't read it yet.

I asked her not to read it and delete it and told her that the context had changed because I actually thought she was screening me out.

We are going to talk after she finishes work.

She told me I don't understand her need to be free and have some fun. I could be focusing on the wrong things but kissing another guy and then saying they're just friends is a hard sell. My psyche is very fragile right now because my heart is all out there alone.