I think I have come to really see my strengths recently. This relationship even if it doesn't bear the fruit I wish for has shown me the changes in me, and who I am.

I am good at making people feel good. It is my gift, being able to give and enrich. At the same time I realize that it's in opposition to the part that needs.

My needyness is where the battle is.

I need attention and I need to feel progress.

I haven't felt depressed in so long. I have felt unispired at times and that bothers me. I know I am distracted.

I'm not sure if people notice but i feel my diary is very much a reflection of that. I don't feel the same urge to write lately.

I spent the night alone and I find I enjoy my nights alone much more. They aren't filled with pity any longer. I usually enjoy my time alone now.

I went out running at 12:00 am tonight. It is the start of something new I hope. I didn't do bad. My legs are sore.

I read some comics tonight. Trying to catch up.

I lost some of my old life in my new one. I don't want to let go.

I read Batman and I am not sure why but there was a page that simply touched me. It really has the best artwork of any comic ever.

My old wounds seem very hollow lately. I realize I was drawing something from my pain and it seems like it has left me. Most people would be overjoyed but I sort have always used it and felt it as something that was apart of me.

Do I really want all that back.

I really have let go Stacy. I said I'd do it and I did.

Well earlier I tried to write and I had nothing in me. Suddenly I found some words and feelings to express. It took an half hour of running and 2 hours of comic book reading to get me in the mood.

I guess there comes a time when you have to face it... you've got your shit together and there is simply no spilled milk to cry about. I may just be a weird person who thinks these odd and off the wall thoughts, who knows.

I am me and it doesn't bother me, cause that is simply the way my mind works. Welcome to my world.