I dreamt I was a blind man, who came across some horrible news. I dreamt I I started to walk home, all broken up over something. When I got home behind me there was a man had a completely disfigured face. The face itself was cut up, burned, and bleeding. The disfigured man fell on my back. Somehow I realized that his face was destroyed. I layed the man down and I got a knife, and I cut the skin off my own face and pasted my skin onto his face.

Eventually the man's face was restored, but in the process it cost me half my face. When i saw my face only half appeared darker as if it had become a shadow. I guess I dreamt that half my face was no longer in any light so you couldn't see the scarring.

I remember the feeling I had when I decided to cut myself. In the dream I felt so much pain for the suffering of the disfigured man. I felt so much pain in general and cutting myself seemed to be the only solution.

THe pain I felt in the dream is still haunting me.

I wonder if this is a very literal correlation to my situation with Viva. She is taking up a lot of my time in my life. It's sort of turned my life and schedule upside down. I didn't realize that in my exile I had become lonely but at the same time I had become so used to my time alone and establishing a pattern in my life. It's actually bothering me a bit that I may have to loose all this freedom I have grown accustomed to.

I have decided not to pursue Viva as a relationship or expect her signs to mean she wants me in that way. I think she really needs a friend and someone to comfort her so I will keep it to that.

God that dream is vividly placed in my thoughts.