My writing juices seemed primed up with ideas flowing once again. I notice I can get depressed when I don't have the desire to be creative. It seems when that part of me dies or goes dormant, I go dead. When I start wallowing in the bowl of self pity I and allow my demons to get ahold I get in trouble. When I let a sad song get me down, or when a lack of friendship is reminded to me by a movie or TV show. That is when I get in trouble.
I have a desire to write two pieces right now. I want to retool my Revenge of the Bond Girls: Bondage is Forever (play). I need to decide though am I going to go all camp and make it a silly mother fucka or am I going to try to make it a more serious piece with interwoven comedy. It has dawned on me that I have a hard time keeping any comedy out of my pieces, even in my more serious pieces. I get too silly some times as I do in life. It is apart of me and perhaps I can't fight , keeping it out of my writing.
I want to write another piece about a raped male POW who has come back home. I was thinking of combining it with my Cache story idea. I figure I take out the whole pedophilia aspect of that story. The earlier part dealed with a pedophile who died who no one knew, they were only able to piece the puzzles of his personality through the pieces in the cache history on his computer. I figure I would change the character from the pedophile no one knew, to the raped and reclusive POW, no one knew. I'd allow the story to unfold through the pieces of history on the computer.
I'm not sure how well these ideas will work together. I really do love making up stories to tell. I get discouraged sometimes because my technical skills as a writer are very weak. I know I need to read more and write. Those two things will help me improve, but I think I'm sort of a careless writer when it comes to the details. I feel I have the ideas and the dream factor going well, but I know I need to suck it up and push it when it comes to improving my technical abilities. I need to watch my grammatical errors and tense changes and all that other good stuff.
I was watching the video for "American Life," by Madonna. Is it me or is anyone else kind of tired with Madonna's journey through techno music. I sort of am tired of synthesized Madonna. I sort of wish she'd go back to some of her pop music roots. Some of it is interesting but I miss old Madonna a bit. I was kind of dissapointed she pulled the original video because of pressure about her commentary about the war. I was wondering would Pepsi Luvin "Like A Prayer" Madonna have pulled the original cut of American Life?
I am in a real chatty mood right now. I sort of wish i had friends, well good ones, to hang out with. I wish I had friends who liked to come over my place and watch movies and TV with me. Friends that liked the kind of music I liked and just hung out listening to music and hangin' out.
I have been watching far too much Dawson's Creek. I know I feel so guilty for even mentioning this. People are probably loosing respect for me as I speak. I realized why I find the show so appealing, I realized I really would love friendships and friends like that, even though they are an incestious group, like the gang of 9021-ho!
The other night I watched 2 hours that I had taped and then at 2am-6am I watched the normally scheduled showing on TBS. Actually by the 4th hour I was getting a bit sick of the show but I tend to get on those rolls and I watch it all. I think I have gotten readdicted to TV. I was ok when I had no cable for a year, but now that I have it again, I just am always watching TV, and it's messing up with my sleeping patern. I sleep at 4 or 5am most mornings and am just not sleepin right. Damn, you Superstation!
I think James Van Der Beek...ugh..yuck!
But Katie Homes is so the girl every guy wants to have. It's those eyes man, and that soulful demeanor. But really I think I would be a better match for the Michelle Williams character. I like her cause she has more edge than sweet ole K.Homes.
I got Vol. 3 of my Airwolf DVD collection. Yes, I'm totally into the wave of 80's TV shows. Airwolf was my favorite TV show when I was a kid and even now It is one of the few shows that I watch now and I remember the love I had for it. It really stands up to the test of time and has really good production quality, before the season when Jan Vincent Michael's left and the moved the show to Canada.
I have an obsessive personality and I keep most of my passion to myself, so I don't freak people out. I know way more about shows and actors than really is necessary. I have so many taped shows of TV programs that I save. I watch those too from time to time. I have a lot of Garbage in my head.
Well I got a lot out tonight. I have been looking for new diaries, not that my list of favs are boring or anything but it seems like everyone is hitting a wall and not updating too often. I totally understand cause I find I have that problem a lot of times now. But not tonight.