Today was a normal day. Had work tonight. I worked with this guy who I have known for about two years. Well tonight something came up with, we'll call him Jay. He didn't want to go into it but he gave enough pieces to figure out that he was being charged with rape.

Now I don't condone rape of any kind or sexual abuse, believe it or not on some level I understand. My own experience with George touching me in my sleep and violating me gives me some view into this. I reacted differently as do all people. That is not my point.

I truly believe I am a good read on people. I realize people can lie or be convincing but as he told me pieces of what happened, I really saw distress. It wasn't guilt but it was sad, to some degree he seemed already defeated. He told me that he got the impression that people already assumed he was guilty. He told me that the school dealt with him as if he was guilty before they have even completed their investigation. I didn't ask but he told me that he didn't rape the girl. THe thing that complicates this story is that Jay likes the Weed. Apparently on the night in question, both had a little weed.

He was moved out of his dorm and he seems very demoralized. He told me the thing that has him down is that he doesn't feel he can do anything to defend himself. When I asked about the girl, he seem bothered that he didn't see this coming from this girl. He really doesn't know where this is coming from or how she could see things so differently. We were talking about perception tonight. We were talking about how people take can percieve things differently. Victims and inflictors, can be either a clear drawn line or a simple hair apart, only seperated by one's perception. This situation appears to be the simple hair variety.

This got me thinking, is the possibility of a victim warrant the ostrisizing the accused. Is it any better to emotionally rape another without proof? True, proof in these cases are hard to come by but in all things there are two sides. Not just one. What does one do if they are truly innocent? What happens to their life? Jay told me he had to miss class to go to court and has had difficulty even thinking about school as finals arrive. For the innocent, if there life is smashed by this what consolation, what defense do the innocent have. Not all rape suspects are innocent, nor are all guilty. My question is to protect all possible victims is it a reasonable price to make all accused guilty before proven innocent? And is it right to create new victims in some cases?

I was thinking, if a girl were to every say rape , what defense do I have? What if all I did was go out with a girl and drop her off at home tonight and by Friday I have police standing at my door? How could I defend myself. I could trust in the truth. I could trust that the truth and evidence would set me free but what about perception? And really could I ever truly shake the stigma a simple accusation could cause? On the flip side I do understand that a victim must be believed and justice served. A person should not be made to fear telling of any misconduct done against themselves.

I don't know, I am truly bothered by this. It's funny because when you think about it, the true rapists are somehow perpetuating further rape of the innocent, who are the innocent accused . It is the image of the true rapist that are cast upon the truly innocent therefore raping an innocent accused.