Not sure what to write. I feel better. Like most thing sometimes some sleep helps put things in perspective. Like I said there is always the other side that keeps me from doing anything rash. It's the crazy half of me that freaks me out. I guess a part of me knows I am getting tired of battling my other half and that is why I guess I've finally decided to just look for some help. I was thinking what kind of therapist I should seek. I figure it will be pretty important thing, it's not like a thong which you can pick out any old thing, not that I own a thong. I think I would have someone who makes me feel comfortable and someone that seems to actually care over a very technical and clinical one. I promise that I won't coincide my demise to my last entry. That way all you diarylanders don't freak. It was just a weird idea floating in my head. I was going to send my diary address to my parents as well as my friends. Thinking about it now that might be mean spirited.

I was thinking of sending it to GW Bush saying I killed myself now instead of waiting for you to kill me later.

Of course that wouldn't be the only reason. I'm not sure that would even do a dent.

Ok Just rambling and I slept in really long today. I went to bed at 12:30 and woke up at 12:30. I severly over slept. NOt sure why my body needed all that sleep. I was supposed to wake up at 9. I missed work and one class.

Thank you all for your concern, I'll get myself help and you don't have to worry. I just needed to write some of this down though so I could see it for myself.