The Lakers/Wizards game was fun although the Wizards the team I was cheering lost. The trip there was awful. My illness flared to it's all time worse. My fever got up and I couldn't sleep. I am never able to sleep on planes. I felt so weak.

Right now my fever has gone. I am so tired though. I got here 4 hours ago but have slept in till now.

I was thinking while I was gone, I have really come to feel not only know that Hawaii is my home. I don't know what it is about LA, it was interestingly different but I missed the mountains and trees, even the humidity of Hawaii. I didn't feel this way when I was younger but I think I have simply grown attached to this land.

On another note, while I was on the road I found a lot of talk radio blasting anti war protestors and celebs that propagated it.

One lady kind of summed up the whole conflict for me. She said she didn't feel she could do much but (they were speaking about the Dixie Chicks) at least with the Dixie chicks she could do something. She said she could send them a message. My thinking is this... Are Americans fighting each other becauses their isn't anyone they can fight? Are we picking all these fights because on some level do we need something to feel useful? I am not for war or the preservation of America at all cost, that is just me. I respect that people do feel this is necessary. I simply accept that my view is not the same as the others. I wonder though are Americans picking on the Anti war movement out of pure disagreement or is it they truly wish to feel some contribution to the events to which, they have now power over. Likewise for the peace movement.

I have come away realizing that there is a very clear two sided view. I on the hand don't intent to try to sway one side to the other. To me that is pointless. People are free to their thoughts and feelings. We perhasp must do what we need to cope with this war and perhaps we must do our best to cope with others ways of dealing with this war.

I do think we need to draw the line at truly harming each other. It's fine and dandy to say whatever we want but we need to draw the line at possing physical harm towards each other because of belief.

I was also hearing on the radio that hate crimes are up against jews in some part in Europe. That has always bothered me. The fact that we could be breeding our own next generation meglomanic haters that would harm others for not being the same as them.

I have been thinking about Hazels words to me about their not being any more words to the bible because God was almighty enough to get everything down the first time.

I still hold onto my belief that not everything in the bible is right nor not all is God inspired. I truly don't believe man hasn't unfairly colored some areas. I accept my outlook can be wrong but I believe that there is always something that can be taught. I am not saying God would come back to tell us to do this or that. THat would be kind of cultish. I just think that if therei is a God , there can never be a shortage of wisdom that can be bestowed upon us. I just don't believe things are one and done. I think things are open... it's only a matter of how we deal and act on these things.

I don't like people to completely close the realm of possibilities because of belief. Belief in most case is tied to ego in many cases and once that happens, people are less likely to back down and just look and see and observe and think of the possibilities. People need clear answers and there aren't always answers. THat is what I have found. I sometimes want to strike back in anger at God for making life so hazy and frustrating but I don't even know if there is a God to strike at. It's all futile in the end.

It's hard for me to offer a definite outlook so I give you my assessments.