You know what scares me? Christian Television. THe Daystar Television Network scares me. Ever notice that Christian television especially Televangelists seem a lot like ProWrestling. THe Televangelist seems to speak and build things up like a pro wrestler from the WWF. It's really funny.

I buzed off my hair today. It was time for a change. It felt good to shave away my hair. It's been more years than I can remember since I've last done this. I feel better these last few days.

I had to chase another Shoplifter down the street again the other day. It was back on the beat for the Jumpstreet gang.

I was talking to my stylist who my family and I knew from when we used to be heavy in the born again Christian scene. So in a sense I don't throw stones from a completly ignorant position.

Anyways I have been thinking about a story idea I had. It was about a man who has an encounter with a being that claims to be God. In this case though God comes to him and says that he has another Chapter of the Bible to give to the people. The story was supposed to focus about his doubt of if this is God truly speaking to him or simply a hallucination. My thinking was what if God chose to speak to us once again. Would we as beings be open to the message or would we doubt it and even block it out because of barriers our perceptions put on things. Sort of how the people in the Bible who crucified him weren't open to the fact that Jesus was the son of God. So I am talking to Hazel my stylist who still heavily believes in the God and the scene. So I asked her if she thought it possible for God to ever inspire more writings and teaching. Her response was very strong NO!!! She said without waver that God would never write further chapters because one it says that in the bible that there would be no others words. Secondly she said that God said all he needed to say the first time.

As a former Born again Christian I actually understand what she says but the part of me that makes me different sees the possibility. I don't know, perhaps the mindset that anything can change and the fact that we perhaps need to be open to the possibility, makes me feel otherwise. I love Hazel and appreciated her frankness, I simply don't completely agree. My thinking is this, the Bible may be Gods words in whole, or it may be mostly God expressed. The thinking on my part is that unfortunetly in the end the bible is only words. They may be Gods words but I often consider that we may be missing parts of the perception puzzle when we look at the words. As I have said in the past, I don't worship the Bible. I have taken advice from the overall moral tone it speaks to. I think it may be wrong of me to pick and choose what I see as right but I try my best not have selective morals. I try to be open.

I see so many Christians and I hate to say it, I would feel so dead inside if I was one of them. I would truly feel I wasn't being true to myself and that I never want to be so one dimensional. I put my belief in God against anyone, I simply see things differently. At the same time I totally accept that others choose to see God their way. It just sucks because no matter what, because my beliefs doubts the totality of the Bible and the structure or the religion, it often feels that the Christians themselvse feel so strongly as to not even consider what you have to say. My thinking for my story is that God could have more to say, when we have developed enough to hear more.

I wonder if their is more to add to a great work such as the bible. I'd like to think there is more revelation that we can't even see yet. It sort of gives hope in my view that we can grow even more. True, that perhaps we need to better master the basics love thy neighbor as thy self and the many other edicts we have yet to master. I like my idea because it leaves possibility for more. I guess apart of me wants to also believe there is more... I guess as a person who likes to write and create in my mind, I can only assume I possess an uncomparable amount of this that God has. I guess If God inspires all writers and creative humans I hope the creation doesn't have to end. I guess I look at a book always having more chapters even after it's end. I was thinking of it as a spinoff series. Sometimes things can be continued in a spinoff series.

As you can tell I don't agree with Hazels assesment. I totally see where she's coming from and apart of me wants to agree with her but the part of me that imagines sees more as being possible. I guess I don't choose to limit possibility. I guess I realized I may be wrong and they may be right. I will take the chance and follow my instincts.

I was thinking on the side, it takes courage to be pure evil. It's concept for not only a story but a character. To some extant I see how doing truly evil and cold things like murder, rape and other depraved acts can be seen as the actions of a coward. But this is what I was thinking. To truly be this type of person takes a great deal of courage. The amount of hate this type can endure, is nothing but amazing. I personally hate to be hated. I don't know about you but in life almost all people avoid conflict, not all but most. People use others as pawns most time without directly dealing with people. Most people don't like to get their hands dirty themselves. I think it's the fear of being disliked or unloved. I feel this fear at times. So I was thinking that apart of me knows I couldn't stand to do things like killing because not only the guilt of killing but the fact I know how much hate I'd have to absorb is something I know I couldn't take. For anyone that could do these things and not care or be affected are truly an amazing thing. Perhaps you can feel sorry for these individuals who may not exist. People appear completely fearless and unaffected but those that even try and illicit all this hate, do have a great deal of courage to take on this kind of hate and other negative emotions.

Maybe I have the most warped perceptions, which I totally consider possible but I think that I have to at least be open to the possibilities. I sort of feel that if we ate the fruit of possibilities we ought to explore things. It may only lead to sorrow but something in us was compelled for knowledge so perhaps we should take in what we can. I never wish my views to force people into a form of thinking . I don't even promote God always. I like to promote the good of exploration and thought. I like to promote being open, even to the evil. There just may be something to learn there. I guess I am going to try not to fear that, but go on my quest for knowledge. I sort of realize this may lead me to a dead end, but it's my life and that is how I choose to live, if chasing a rainbow is my destiny than so be it. I guess i get frustrated sometimes because I sometimes wonder if I am simply at rat chasing a piece of cheese that is in front of me by being wrapped on a stick that is connected to me. It's something I can never get but always want.

One other thing while I feel so opionated. I sort of feel a great deal in our generation and beyond have grown to have a very anti war or conflict view. I sort of feel that it is kind of because that is what our movies and stories showed us. Don't get me wrong I too rather not have war. But honestly I have to see that a lifetime of movies and stories with morals shows me that war is wrong. It's kind of funny because when you think of it , it's truly a form of propaganda influence. I am not commenting on whether the propaganda is right or wrong but it has definetly influenced us that in war no one wins. THe movies have taught us not to hate specific people: Blacks, Gays, people that are different. I think these are good messages but it's funny that we never seem to learn from our own propaganda.

I just see though from my point of view a very media influenced generation. I wonder how much has gotten through with some of us in our generation. I think a great deal of us has taken in the message.

I don't agree with people who want war. I feel that some people want war and don't have good justification for it. War is apart of us. No one person can change this. A serious change in our species is needed for there ever to be peace. I don't know if we ever want complete peace. I sort of realize that if there was no drama in life, things might get very boring and pointless quick. It's possibly all apart of a machine which we may unevitably be forced into participation.

THere are no definte answers, some feel all the answers are in their bibles. It may be true, we may have the guides to perfection, but should and can we ever use them and excute it to perfection...