I saw this comercial and it got me thinking so I looked up their site, and sure enough I feel I more or less possess all the symptoms except the drug and alcohol abuse. I more or less control the destructive effects but I must admit the temptation to destroy myself is there at times. I copied portions of the site.

Bipolar disorder involves cycles of mania and depression. These two mood states can be thought of as opposite ends of a range. At one end is severe depression; then moderate depression; mild and brief mood disturbances (that many people call 'the blues'); normal mood; hypomania (a mild form of mania); and at the other extreme is mania.

Signs and symptoms of maniainclude periods of:

Excessively 'high' or euphoric feelings

Increased energy, activity, restlessness, racing thoughts, and increased talkativeness

Overly-inflated self-esteem

Extreme irritability and distractibility

Reduced need for sleep

Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers

Uncharacteristically poor judgement

A sustained period of behaviour that is different from usual

Increased sexual drive

Abuse of drugs, particularly cocaine, alcohol, and sleeping medications

Provocative, intrusive, or aggressive behaviour

Denial that anything is wrong

Signs and symptoms of depressioninclude periods of:

Persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood

Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

Feelings of inappropriate guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

Loss of interest or pleasure in ordinary activities, including sex

Loss of energy, a feeling of fatigue or of being 'slowed down'

Difficulty thinking or concentrating, remembering, making decisions

Restlessness or irritability

Difficulties sleeping, or oversleeping

Loss of appetite and weight, or weight gain

disease

Repeated thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts

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Now I don't go about attempting suicide but I have thought about it a lot in my life. I think more about death and I realize in myself a sort of delusion. I realize that my highs are high and lows feel low. Seeing my journal makes me see a patern of happy and sad. I have always realized that when I feel sad and feeling that life isn't worth it, I sort of always know to hang on and wait till tomorrow cause the feeling will most likely go and it does. I think now after reading all this because, I wonder if I may be suffering from this. Well I am going to see someone about this. It might not be this at all but I know most time I get sad in reaction to people and humanity and sometimes just to the meaning of human existance. I know I am so retarded but most people are.