Well I have totally exhausted myself designing about 20 different CD labels from pieces of pictures I had in my database. They're for my parents and their friends so they sort had be nice and pleasant designs, no dark images or anything too dark. I think I spent 4 hours and a lot of labels and ink. I haven't done that in a while. I truly wish there was a program that could transfer the frickin track list into the spot I left for the tracks. Most of the CD's were Hawaiian music and I only had the CD's an no track list and Windows Media player or any of them had no info on these CD's. So I had to search for them online and then write them individually and in some case cut and paste, but it took forever. And I did this all for free, no personal gain here. I'm just a nice fool I guess. I'm sort of bummed I have had 3 plans with people for Halloween crumble. I might end up just going out by myself. My last one I made was with Stacy who I think wants to spend it alone with her BF. The last Halloween I sort of invited Zack to come out with Stacy and I and sort of was a reason for them to get together so they felt comfortable it wasn't a date. It was sort of the night that things really sparked, even with me there. I am a great friend at blending out when I see my work is done and everyone else has someone and I somehow just get to see my friends happy and me alone. It was good that I don't live with stacy or I'd still be the emotional wreck I was underneath. I'm a lot better and right now just trying to be her friend, although I am a ghost person and always have them lingering behind the next door. I worry that my ghost will forever put the distance in our friendship. I hate that love corrupts friendships, even when it comes to your friend finding love with others. I don't know if I'd toss away all my friendships or if there would be a great distance if I got involved with anyone. As much as I have a want to get intimate in the biblical sense,, I guess a large part of me just wants a companion to share thing with. I also miss getting things and sharing in all their quirks. My life is filled with aquaintances. I sort of feel it's my fault for being such an exhausting personality. I also think I choose to invest myself in alot of one way relationships. I guess I'm a really good giver and part of me is hoping I will get back but I don't state that as a want and as soon as they don't need to take from me I become discardable. I feel like I'm friendship toilet paper. Sure if there is a strike or in this case problems I am greatly wanted but as soon as the problems are over I'm a memory to them. God I'm depressing myself. I'm in that self pity mood I guess. Doesn't help that I'm listening to Jackie Gleeson's "My funny Valentine. I have been spending so much time in my own head it is getting to me. I sort of want someone to interact with and have fun with but I can't just pick those good, quality people off the streets. Trust me I've tried. Not like that, but I've tried being friends and hanging out with people who I really didn't really relate well with. I don't want to go through that it's just more depressing. Well I have to go to work later tonight so maybe I'll have a more upbeat tone then. I get to work with Kale, he has such a wall, never met anyone with such a protective barrier around himself. I sort of smitten with him...not in a sexual way, but as an older brother i guess. It's only because I see him as a challenge, I guess want to break down his wall, not that wall silly. No I sort of wish he'd let people in a little, i think he only causes his own solitude, but perhaps he's happier that way and I should leave him be. I just think he could be a lot happier if he didn't always have his shields up (sorry my lame trekkie metaphor) He's a good kid though, I sort of see a bit of myself in him, stop it I didn't mean that. Get your head out of the gutter. Seriously though I need to get a life, a new one. Anyone know where I can trade in?