I was channel surfing as I often do last night and saw on the news that there really is in development a medical procedure or drug that targets erasing memories.

This right off the bat scares me. I start to debate in my mind, is this a good thing or bad thing. Do we even have the right to control that much of what we experience. Does not the good and bad shape and mold us into who we are. Are we trying to play God with our lives?

For myself I think this is a bad thing, but I understand why people would chose this and I don't feel I would judge or blame anyone to not want to remember painful memories.

I don't think I would be who I was without those memories, I think our worst memories and all our pain serves a purpose that we are unable to see. I feel there is a great deal we don't understand about life and I have come to better accept those things and make do with what I do know.

I could totally see how a woman who was raped might want that erased from her memory and so on.... I just don't think trying to forget is the answer. People often say ignorance is bliss and to a degree that is very true. There are things that only matter in our minds, yet they still happened.

For me, my mothers death and her drug overdoses are all memories I would love to never remember. Yet I do. I guess it is hard to understand because I am me and I deal with things differently so naturally I feel others can deal if I can deal, but really that isn't true, well not for everyone.

It helped me to see where the path of despair and self destruction might lead. I was able to stop and see what giving up leaves in its wake and I think somewhere along the line I realized if I never wanted to hurt the people I love the most, than I shouldn't do something that would hurt them the most. The best way to stop the cycle is to choose to live.

Its been 20 years this month since my mom died. 20 years, that seems like so long ago. It is such a defining childhood memory and really shaped so many ideas, I allowed things to progress their natural point and by taking that one memory out, I would totally be missing a big part of my life and who I am. My thing is, I could have never seen how it would have turned out and affected me down the road. It doesn't matter how well I know myself, I just feel no one is an expert to be messing around with their lives and taking out things that shape us to who we are. No one has the knowledge to know what is the right and wrong memories to omit.

I won't base my feelings against it from God, because truth is I don't speak for God, if God exists, God speaks for itself. I really wish people could grasp that concept. We put ourselves as such experts on life and God and we have no clue and that is the truth. No one person has God's ear or knows what really is The true Correct Answer. All we have are our Human feelings and intuition. That is why I got away from Church and religion. I got tired of people claiming to know everything. No one was humble and willing to admit to they knew nothing and that they just felt something and that is all they could say. I respect people who do things and can step aside and put aside their own ambitions for the greater good.

I respect the person who steps back and sees they are in the way and just move to the side, no fight, no explanation.

I don't know where all this came from. Just seeing that story just got me thinking and I reacted as I often do, to stories such as those. Life would seem perfect if we could gloss over all the bad, but what does that really mean, to erase the bad, what is the ultimate effect. For me, loosing my mom was hard, but the reason I still love her and forgave her is because I remember her. Erasing memories just doesn't feel right to me. That is just how I feel and I respect that others might not see it like I do, why??? Because I realize I am just another person with an opinion and have no basis to say I am right and they are wrong.