I had a garage sale yesterday, followed by a bon voyage party. I got all my friends together along with my family. I literally felt overwhelmed. It's difficult when you get every different circle of friends together and throw in your family at the same time. I feel like I keep different parts of my life seperate so it's a lot harder when I combine all those things together.

I actually was touched by the moments I had with the friends who were there. One of my friends didn't show. He told me he was coming and needed a ride. I called him throughout the day and he never called me back. It bugged me that he didn't at least call me and tell me he wasn't coming. I got an email from him. Apparently he went to some family party because he didn't want to face some other people at my party. at least have the common courtesy to at least call.

Anyways, I saw Hidalgo today. I have been feeling really emtional lately. I almost broke down and started to crying at the end of the movie.

SPOILER ALERT! Do not read if you don't want the movie spoiled to some extant.

Anways I almost started crying in the movie when it seemed like the horse was really going to die. The horse was speeding towards the end of the race and it's nose was bleeding and my first thought was the horse is probably going to collapse and die at the end, and I almost let myself break down and start crying in anticipation of that moment, even though when I really think about it, the setting wasn't even close to anything like that. I think there are a lot of emotional issues i am dealing with inside. I have a lot on my mind lately. This change is a lot more scary than I originally realized.

Living back with the folks hasn't been as easy as I had hoped. I love my family but it is so hard to live with them. I feel they treat me as if I am still an 18 year old boy and not the 25 year old that I am. It's all in the way they talk down to me and are so critical. Even of my friends that came to the party. I will judge them and say that is one thing I don't love in them. I wish they were better people. They are so unaccepting of different people.

I don't know I feel so all over the place lately.

I got my own physical leather journal book. I wrote in it earlier. It has been so long since I've hand written something longer than a few words. My hand feels almost unfamiliar with how to write. Because of that my handwriting is more atrocious than it normally is.