No really, it's sort of nice to get to know a side of people that maybe not everyone knows about that person. At the same time those people listen to me go on and on about God knows what...

Sometimes when they write something that hurts them or they are feeling down, I feel for them and in some odd way it helps me cause I know those feelings, I know I've been there before and in some way it helps to know that other people out there are struggling with the same things, perhaps somewhat different, but still I can somehow relate.

It's really been an interesting form of therapy for me. What will I do for the months that I won't have this forum. I am giving my computer away to my parents so even after all my months of training it will be a few months until I have enough money to splurge on a laptop. So no computer means less entries.

I have become too reliant on the computer. It is so much apart of my everyday life. It's funny but I notice when I am away from my computer. I don't miss it but when I'm apart from it, I can't help but notice that. Perhaps I need to give my computer a name and attach more of an emotional attachment to it...hahaha! I'm too weird.

I look at Viva sometimes not as someone I used to love, but as someone I care about in regards to what happens to her. It makes me sad because she seems so lost and there are so many things against her. I am sad I guess that I am not close enough to help her. Regardless if I am happy we're no longer dating, I just care for her overall well being and it pains me to see her stumbling. I wish I could have done more or given her better advice or something.

It does hurt me sometimes that she doesn't seem to want to really talk to me anymore, but perhaps it's just as well. It's funny as independant and free as I often feel, I guess I still notice, now and then when people are withdrawing from me, and of course it affects me. All my relationships have changed and people have come and gone. I've come to accept all that, I just get sad sometimes that people can't just be cool and go on being a friend and not be afraid to talk to me.

Perhaps she thinks she's doing me a favor. I don't know. That chapter is over, but I guess I will never stop caring about all the people who've graced the pages of my life.