I rode in a cab today and during the duration of the ride, the cab driver kept staring at me in his rear view mirror. It sort of gave me the creeps.

I have a goal and something I want to do. My stepmother sort of stomped on it. I sort of need their help to do this and I was trying to ask for their help... even after being called spoiled. She once commented I don't ask for help when it counts... this was the one time when I was younger before I moved out when she found a diary entry which was about my suicidal thoughts. There whole thing was I never ask for help. So I think I am spoiled and I never ask for help yet when I ask for their support I need to be an adult and get there on my own. It just doesn't make any sense. Which I am I a sponge who takes to much or a person who doesn't ask for help. So I am going to have to figure out how I am going to get to this screen writers confrence in LA to try to pitch my screenplay ideas to Hollywood Producers. It's sort of a long shot I know but i want to see where my work and ideas stand up or if they even stand up at all. As I am finding out, I can't just be a screenwriter but need to find alternate career choices so I can support myself and not work these high effort low paying jobs. Screenwriting is somewhat fools gold but I want to just put my ideas out there and see what happens. I finally commit to wanting to go for it and I get no support, ahh! And the worst part of it is, my family has money. They even gave me a lecture about when I had to go to all these family functions and when people asked me how school was I told them" I'm not going to school next semester because I didn't have enough money for it" That is the truth I didn't want to go into every detail about the financial office and everything else but my efforts to go to school is blocked primarily with insufficient funds. So my stepmom told me that they were upset because it made them look bad because... hey they could pay for my schooling. But they don't and I don't ask them too. So I said what am I supposed to say, they told me I should just say I'm taking a break. Oh did I mention how spoiled I am...(fuck!)

So yeah I want to go to LA and go to this special screenwriters convention at the LA Convention center. This is sort of tied into my dream.

I am on this trip and to be honest I am a little upset with my family in the back of my mind. Well I am upset in the front of my mind as well. But hey, that's because I'm a spoiled brat. I must be doing a horrible job because I haven't had enough money so I had to run up my credit cards because I had so much money...whatevers.